when i was young, mum would always ring home to check on us and i always thought to myself, "is mum not working hard enough to have to time to ring us? or she just has nothing better to do". Being a workaholic, i hardly have anything on my mind when i work - be it personal issues or work issues, simply because i don't have the time!
but when mum was here for a week and i had to work for 4 days, three 9 to 9 shifts and one sunday shift, i find myself ringing to check on her all the time. mainly because i was worried of her, being dumped alone and she can't understand the aussie accent very well. i was worried she would get lost! so i finally understood, caring for someone comes naturally from within. it comes from your genuine love for someone and there is always time to care for someone!
mum's just left adelaide after a 9 day stay. it is a very sad day for me. she visited me at work before she left and i cried while typing scripts. my colleagues all gave big hugs. but sometimes i think to myself, it is just not fair! why do i have to be the one to leave my family back home? malaysia is not safe for me to go home to and i was given this opportunity to leave this horrible country yet i have to leave my most precious things there. it is no fair!!
if only i have a house - mum and dad can just stay with me. SIGHS
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
it is the past
my friend who is good friends with one of my ex has asked me if i was gonna be embarrassed by the presence of my ex whom i haven't talked to since we broke up 3 years ago (because he ignored me!) at her wedding. To which I replied "yes! but i would behave and make things more comfortable".
Eh people big wedding, takkan i give stupid face right? and what's more i am bridesmaid (almost maid of honour but i didn't want to give speech!and what do i know about weddings??). It's not like I really care about his feelings anymore but i've been imagining what to say when i see him, note: he is also coming to another friend's wedding, which means i'll see him probably 4-5 days in total.
a) could just walk up and shake his hand (HAHA) he'll probably be so dumbfounded he doesn't know what to do. and of course say hi!
b) could stare at him and wait til he says hi - i'm such a bitch!
c) ignore him the whole wedding - which is what he might choose to do
the question is (obvious) - how to face an ex? i have no experience in this whatsoever because i have always been able to maintain a good relationship with my exes. maybe they maintained a good relationship with me - knowing me, i would be whatever! how do you face someone who chose to ignore you and whom you haven't spoke to for so long that you barely remember how he looks like anymore? how do you face someone that shattered your heart into pieces thinking it was the best solution without asking you first?
i guess there is no better solution than to just face it. i shouldn't care so much now because i have move on..... WAY way long long LONG time a go....... fuck that prick! HAHHAHAHHAHA
Eh people big wedding, takkan i give stupid face right? and what's more i am bridesmaid (almost maid of honour but i didn't want to give speech!and what do i know about weddings??). It's not like I really care about his feelings anymore but i've been imagining what to say when i see him, note: he is also coming to another friend's wedding, which means i'll see him probably 4-5 days in total.
a) could just walk up and shake his hand (HAHA) he'll probably be so dumbfounded he doesn't know what to do. and of course say hi!
b) could stare at him and wait til he says hi - i'm such a bitch!
c) ignore him the whole wedding - which is what he might choose to do
the question is (obvious) - how to face an ex? i have no experience in this whatsoever because i have always been able to maintain a good relationship with my exes. maybe they maintained a good relationship with me - knowing me, i would be whatever! how do you face someone who chose to ignore you and whom you haven't spoke to for so long that you barely remember how he looks like anymore? how do you face someone that shattered your heart into pieces thinking it was the best solution without asking you first?
i guess there is no better solution than to just face it. i shouldn't care so much now because i have move on..... WAY way long long LONG time a go....... fuck that prick! HAHHAHAHHAHA
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
WOW it's time...........!
i guess it's time to update this dead space here. has it been so long? this year passed by so quickly, i quit counting the days. sighs.
so what have i been up to these months? except having tonnes of visitors from overseas whether it's mine or my friends, countless karaoke til we were drunk night, clubbing til people got into fight nights, birthdays, dinners - this year has also been my holiday year!!
in jan, i went to adrian's friend's wedding in melbourne. in july, went to friend's birthday in sydney - had the opportunity to try world class's chef's degustation menu, and it was so awesome! food was great, ambiance was great, customer service was exceptional and the company of course, was fun! then mum is coming over in aug and i'll be going home end of the year for 4 weddings. cannot believe it and siew shan lyn, i am extending my holidays just for you babe!!!
besides taking on a super role i hated, i have also enrolled myself in diploma in retail management. it is so different from what i used to do in uni. it is so theory based but i do find some stuffs they teach very useful.
being pushed into managerial role just makes me hate my job - i dont get an increase in pay and i have to learn how to solve conflicts, try to tell people off etc.
i've always been not so confident but i'm really not cut out to manage a pharmacy, and it makes me think twice if i want to buy into this pharmacy because what's the point of being rich if i dont enjoy my job?
maybe i should give myself more credit for the stuffs i have done. well at least the pharmacy is still there and everything is still running smoothly. staffs are not leaving.
oh well if i think about the bad things that can happen - it hasn't happened yet - then maybe i am a good manager. but if i think about if the pharmacy is moving forward, i really doubt so.
so my leadership is a little bit like me - resistant to change :(
so what have i been up to these months? except having tonnes of visitors from overseas whether it's mine or my friends, countless karaoke til we were drunk night, clubbing til people got into fight nights, birthdays, dinners - this year has also been my holiday year!!
in jan, i went to adrian's friend's wedding in melbourne. in july, went to friend's birthday in sydney - had the opportunity to try world class's chef's degustation menu, and it was so awesome! food was great, ambiance was great, customer service was exceptional and the company of course, was fun! then mum is coming over in aug and i'll be going home end of the year for 4 weddings. cannot believe it and siew shan lyn, i am extending my holidays just for you babe!!!
besides taking on a super role i hated, i have also enrolled myself in diploma in retail management. it is so different from what i used to do in uni. it is so theory based but i do find some stuffs they teach very useful.
being pushed into managerial role just makes me hate my job - i dont get an increase in pay and i have to learn how to solve conflicts, try to tell people off etc.
i've always been not so confident but i'm really not cut out to manage a pharmacy, and it makes me think twice if i want to buy into this pharmacy because what's the point of being rich if i dont enjoy my job?
maybe i should give myself more credit for the stuffs i have done. well at least the pharmacy is still there and everything is still running smoothly. staffs are not leaving.
oh well if i think about the bad things that can happen - it hasn't happened yet - then maybe i am a good manager. but if i think about if the pharmacy is moving forward, i really doubt so.
so my leadership is a little bit like me - resistant to change :(
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
a different phase
As i step into my quarter life, I realize a lot of things are different now. The way I think, the things I want in life, the friends I hang out with... have all changed. The good thing is I do not regret what I have become today. There is nothing in life that I wish I can go back to change. I like what i am today, I like I have matured and become wiser and independent. Well except that I hate turning a quarter century, the number is getting just a little too big. lol.
Anyway there was this guy who come up to me all out of a sudden while i was working and *ahem* declared his love for me. I was like "jeez this guy is crazy man!" and he was! because at first he brought in flowers and chocolate and then he drop by to say hi when i wasn't working and then he bought me icecream and milk shake. NOTE: i do not know this guy at all. BUT hey!! I AM NOT TWENTY ANYMORE AND THESE TRICKS DON'T WORK ON ME! It made me realize how utterly GELI is it to receive flowers from someone i don't like/know and how I've changed from you know, liking handsome tall musically inclined romantic dudes to guys whom i know can take care of me in the future and someone who can be a good father to my children and someone whom i can depend on!
Nothing is absolute in life! who knows down the road, i might wanna feel young again and start liking handsome/cute/boyish guys. lol. for now i am happy with what i have and am ready for what i can achieve in future!
Anyway there was this guy who come up to me all out of a sudden while i was working and *ahem* declared his love for me. I was like "jeez this guy is crazy man!" and he was! because at first he brought in flowers and chocolate and then he drop by to say hi when i wasn't working and then he bought me icecream and milk shake. NOTE: i do not know this guy at all. BUT hey!! I AM NOT TWENTY ANYMORE AND THESE TRICKS DON'T WORK ON ME! It made me realize how utterly GELI is it to receive flowers from someone i don't like/know and how I've changed from you know, liking handsome tall musically inclined romantic dudes to guys whom i know can take care of me in the future and someone who can be a good father to my children and someone whom i can depend on!
Nothing is absolute in life! who knows down the road, i might wanna feel young again and start liking handsome/cute/boyish guys. lol. for now i am happy with what i have and am ready for what i can achieve in future!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
the never ending rant
Once again, I am extremely embarrassed by my country - what my people do, what my people say on tv certainly do not do my beautiful country any justice at all. But it is not fair because we have always lived in harmony - we communicate and live well together. Not until recent years that Malaysia have been portrayed as a country who everyone knows has a deputy prime minister that likes to sodomize people or a country that has BIG racial issues.
I guess as the chinese idiom goes, "no paper can wrap fire". As we get more educated and as we know more of our rights, we've learnt that "the rights of bumiputera cannot be questioned" becomes increasingly disturbing. We've learnt that our education sucks because our leaders don't even know how to speak proper english to defend themselves on tv. We've learnt that we not only do not know how to voice our opinions but we answer as if we do not understand the question. We've learnt that the leader we pick, do not defend us non-muslims, they supress us and try to cover up every single truth that leaks out - and hope in time the problem will solve by itself.
I'm sorry the world has to know about our ugliness and i'm sorry the world does not know about how beautiful and peaceful Malaysia really is. Life is not fair. It is not fair at all.
I guess as the chinese idiom goes, "no paper can wrap fire". As we get more educated and as we know more of our rights, we've learnt that "the rights of bumiputera cannot be questioned" becomes increasingly disturbing. We've learnt that our education sucks because our leaders don't even know how to speak proper english to defend themselves on tv. We've learnt that we not only do not know how to voice our opinions but we answer as if we do not understand the question. We've learnt that the leader we pick, do not defend us non-muslims, they supress us and try to cover up every single truth that leaks out - and hope in time the problem will solve by itself.
I'm sorry the world has to know about our ugliness and i'm sorry the world does not know about how beautiful and peaceful Malaysia really is. Life is not fair. It is not fair at all.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
presents
ARGH present shopping is driving me nuts!!! For the past year, I have been the one shopping for presents, be it birthday, christmas, anni etc, because I am the one with week days off! why should i be the one to be penalized just because i have day offs? Whenever I wanna buy a present, everyone else wants to share and then everyone else has an opinion too. ARGH. if you want me to buy the present, I, your royal highness will decide! So QUIT telling me what I should and shouldn't do. And why the hell do people think so much when they buy a present. It is just a present. It is the thought that counts. It doesn't matter what it is and it doesn't matter what consequence it has.
so everyone is getting a gift card from me this year! THERE. problem solved!
so everyone is getting a gift card from me this year! THERE. problem solved!
Monday, January 4, 2010
marriage
OMFG..... is there any news besides people getting engaged/married/have babies because I am really sick of these stuffs already and to think that I am only turning a quarter century this year, does make me feel - are we too young?! ok maybe not.. and i am not ranting because i am bitter okay? of course i wanna get married and have kids but not at the age of 24! there is still so much stuffs out there to explore than to be tied down. right right, it's about the happily ever after which we all know things are more REAL than that yada yada yada.. whatever!
so hey people, if you have any good news, can it be something like you've striked lottery or becoming a monk/priest or anything like that?! i need new stuffs happening in my life, like NEW and EXCITING!!
p/s: i am still happy for people who are getting engaged!
so hey people, if you have any good news, can it be something like you've striked lottery or becoming a monk/priest or anything like that?! i need new stuffs happening in my life, like NEW and EXCITING!!
p/s: i am still happy for people who are getting engaged!
Friday, January 1, 2010
friends and love
well. i guess i have been really pessimistic lately but now it's all good. i have forgotten about the past and moved on from there.
i think being a human being and living on this planet earth is the greatest journey one can ever have (not like i've tried being anything else), but the emotions you experience, the relationship you share with someone but yourself is such a beautiful thing. You learn to accept something so different from you but of course this doesn't come without conflict and arguments.
So much has happened the past festive season and they taught me one thing - that is all humans are different to each other and if we want to live together, we have to learn to accept the person for who they are. Be it selfish, stingy, thinks logic the other way etc. And putting up resistance, fighting and trying to change who they are, is a lot harder than accepting it.
And I am glad I've found my other half that I know I can spend the rest of my life with. He who lets me be who I am and who accepts my mistakes, my recklessness and dumbness. He who throws me in the deep water and taught me the only way to survive is to find the determination to swim. He who never judges me and gives me full freedom to decide on my own future and who always include me in his future.
I love you be, even if you the nastiest temper :P
i think being a human being and living on this planet earth is the greatest journey one can ever have (not like i've tried being anything else), but the emotions you experience, the relationship you share with someone but yourself is such a beautiful thing. You learn to accept something so different from you but of course this doesn't come without conflict and arguments.
So much has happened the past festive season and they taught me one thing - that is all humans are different to each other and if we want to live together, we have to learn to accept the person for who they are. Be it selfish, stingy, thinks logic the other way etc. And putting up resistance, fighting and trying to change who they are, is a lot harder than accepting it.
And I am glad I've found my other half that I know I can spend the rest of my life with. He who lets me be who I am and who accepts my mistakes, my recklessness and dumbness. He who throws me in the deep water and taught me the only way to survive is to find the determination to swim. He who never judges me and gives me full freedom to decide on my own future and who always include me in his future.
I love you be, even if you the nastiest temper :P
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