I don't belong..

Has anyone watched How you I met your mother? I am a fan! It's absolutely hilarious! Anyway, I think it must be the latest episode when the Canadian girl, Robin was trying to get a green card in America. There was a phrase which I find very meaningful, something about she doesn't belong to anywhere - because she was working so long in the States, she doesn't feel Canadian when she's back in Canada, yet she doesn't feel American enough to be American.

I think i'm a little like that now.

I was having coffee one day with a friend back home in Malaysia the last trip back and I said the word 'weird'. And then he said "what did you just say?" and I said "w-e-i-r-d". And to my surprise he's like, "is that Aussie?". And I went "uh... Ya?". You see, in Malaysia, if you realize, we like to pronounce weird as vee-ir-t but when I first came to aussie, my aussie friend told me that my pronunciation was off, he said i like to prounounce "w" as "v" and the right way to say it was something like woe-ird. It's hard to type it, just ask me when you see me :P

So seriously?? When I am back in Malaysia, I complained so much about customer service, about the weather, about civilization, about not having friendly people - hey i needed change to make a call on the public phone booth in the airport because the roaming on my phone didn't work but that stupid indian guy refused and i had to buy a mineral water for $4, thanks to him - wasn't something I could get used to at all. And being back in Aus, about not having a place to hang out til late at night except clubs, about prefering to speak manglish and about being discriminated at sometimes, does make me feel like I don't belong to anywhere.

The longer i stay in Australia, the harder it is to accept the rude Malaysian culture, yet I am not Aussie enough to understand their fascination with football and wine and humour, because it's hard to shake off that 20 years of identity in you.

I know sometimes that people do envy I had the chance to be out of Malaysia. But everyday I still find myself waking up in a foreign land and asking myself,

"So where do I belong? "