Men are REALLY from mars...

I used to have a colleague who read me the book "Men are from Mars and women are from venus" during my one hour lunch break for at least a week, because we both couldn't agree on who should borrow the book first. We didn't finish the book but i think she did. Anyway it's a great book. It depicts how different men think from women. Many times when my colleague reads a paragraph, we would both exclaim how true the words were. The one thing i remember is that every time a woman complains, all she wants to do is for someone to listen. But guys see it differently. Guys would think that the problem has to be solve and they think we complain because we want a solution. They think they have the answer to everything. I guess my bf listen really well because most of the time when i whinge about things, he will just keep quiet. HAHA. at least he doesn't stop me! LOL

But something that happened today made me realize I really am from a different planet as my bf! I was busy arranging for a last minute dinner this morning and was one hour late to meet our friends! Being the sweetie that he was, he showered, changed, smoked and drank coffee when i hastilly prepared myself to go out. He never whinge a bit. If it would have been the other way round and he was late because he was doing last minute booking for a very important dinner and can't find a suitable restaurant, i would have gone mad at him. Blah blah about how he shouldn't always do last minute stuffs and he is always the latest to arrive when we meet our friends. I know I can be really naggy and i hate being late!

Maybe it's just him being patient but I really think we both see things differently. The things we prioritize and can get mad about is abosolutely different. I guess he has a bigger heart, he swallows everything in whereas I am more vocal about it and i'll talk about it until I get numb and then i will look for a solution. I am not a very good solver, you see and he is a very big risk taker. I think i over think when i do stuff therefore i am really indecisive.

Argh. Annoyed!!

Being nice

I think (not self praising at all!) I am genuinely a very NICE person! When people ask me for favours, i will not hesitate and just agree to it. See, eventhough I have to work for the whole weekend *sobs*. I hope people don't see me as greedy because seriously, i just want to help! i believe in karma. I know how it feels being stuck and having no one to help. I don't expect people to help me when i am in need (although it would be nice!) but i don't like the idea of people around me not being helped! I'm a very weird person but I am born nice and patient. I can be not confident of a lot of things but this is one thing i am SURE i have.

I think my bf does that too because he can never say no to anyone at all. He doesn't know his limits very well and he's not the kind to be affected if the person he helped doesn't help him back. See? This is what i call GENUINE. This somehow reminds me of a nilai in moral, which i can't remember already. haha.

SO please do not take advantage of my nice-ness and appreciate me for who i am because i don't wanna change. i don't want to be some cynical old lady when i grow up. The kind that just thinks about the bad side of people. Thanks!

I don't belong..

Has anyone watched How you I met your mother? I am a fan! It's absolutely hilarious! Anyway, I think it must be the latest episode when the Canadian girl, Robin was trying to get a green card in America. There was a phrase which I find very meaningful, something about she doesn't belong to anywhere - because she was working so long in the States, she doesn't feel Canadian when she's back in Canada, yet she doesn't feel American enough to be American.

I think i'm a little like that now.

I was having coffee one day with a friend back home in Malaysia the last trip back and I said the word 'weird'. And then he said "what did you just say?" and I said "w-e-i-r-d". And to my surprise he's like, "is that Aussie?". And I went "uh... Ya?". You see, in Malaysia, if you realize, we like to pronounce weird as vee-ir-t but when I first came to aussie, my aussie friend told me that my pronunciation was off, he said i like to prounounce "w" as "v" and the right way to say it was something like woe-ird. It's hard to type it, just ask me when you see me :P

So seriously?? When I am back in Malaysia, I complained so much about customer service, about the weather, about civilization, about not having friendly people - hey i needed change to make a call on the public phone booth in the airport because the roaming on my phone didn't work but that stupid indian guy refused and i had to buy a mineral water for $4, thanks to him - wasn't something I could get used to at all. And being back in Aus, about not having a place to hang out til late at night except clubs, about prefering to speak manglish and about being discriminated at sometimes, does make me feel like I don't belong to anywhere.

The longer i stay in Australia, the harder it is to accept the rude Malaysian culture, yet I am not Aussie enough to understand their fascination with football and wine and humour, because it's hard to shake off that 20 years of identity in you.

I know sometimes that people do envy I had the chance to be out of Malaysia. But everyday I still find myself waking up in a foreign land and asking myself,

"So where do I belong? "