Sunday, January 16, 2011

start from nothing.

it is okay

to need a house as collateral to buy into my pharmacy
yet not have enough no matter how much i save, for my house deposit because houses go up so much year after year - and therefore my salary is capped


it is okay

to not take a single penny from home ever since i start working yet have to pay for my education loan and still have to pay for my brother's living fees


it is okay

to take the burden on because i know my parents are old and my brother deserves the same sort of education that i was given


it is okay

when she says he is not good enough for me because i know nothing in the world would be good enough anyway for their little precious girl


but it is not okay

i try and try and i feel i am the only one struggling but i am still getting no where. i feel the world is so unfair. people born with golden spoon will still be spoonfed and people who are poor continues to be poor


but it is not okay

to put the burden on me and i feel like i am in no position to decline. why am i born to be so understanding and try to put everything on my shoulders when they are too small to carry


but it is not okay

i am trying to go for love yet let money be an obstacle to my happiness. that i have to choose sides - one which i choose will go against my values and the other if i choose, will go against my heart?

1 comment:

  1. awwwwww *hugz* don't worry ann. all the 'not oks' will be 'ok' eventually. things will sort out in itself.

    not many ppl can shoulder such resp, but they 'put the burden on you' bcoz they know you r capable & a very resp person.

    its a short period of frus your goin thru, but in 5 years or 10 years time, you will look back and say to yourself 'i've made it, in spite of everythin'. now that's a story to tell isnt it? ;)

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