something missing

A year ago, I felt like I was struggling and was heading to nowhere.

A month ago, I got what I deserved. I was compensated for my hardwork. I was offered a bright future. I harvested my efforts. They were not lost. I had someone looking after me. Career wise, it kept getting better.

Now, I still feel something missing. Maybe it's time to build my own family. Maybe because my parents are not here with me. Maybe it's all about work. What about relationships? what about family? What about friends? I have got to a point where work is priority and all others are secondary. This include health.

I guess there is only so much you can juggle. Guess that it an excuse and I cannot deny I am that ignorant.

But no, from today onwards, I will be that clown who juggles all three balls at the same time. Promising to never let it fall. Work hard and play later.....

i tried

I tried to be more understanding but the more I try to stand by you, the more foolish I feel I become.

I don't understand why before you borrowed my money, dumped all your current and future salary, risked losing your whole life savings and thinking so optimistically, did you not consider who you were sharing with? have you got a back up plan? How you want your life to be in the future? and how the business will go and if it will go the way you hope it will?

You said you wanted to learn. Well, I hope it has given you a great lesson, for throwing cash into the sea. Not only money is wasted but time as well.

So are you happy now? Have you learnt enough? Have you risk enough of our future to learn????

start from nothing.

it is okay

to need a house as collateral to buy into my pharmacy
yet not have enough no matter how much i save, for my house deposit because houses go up so much year after year - and therefore my salary is capped


it is okay

to not take a single penny from home ever since i start working yet have to pay for my education loan and still have to pay for my brother's living fees


it is okay

to take the burden on because i know my parents are old and my brother deserves the same sort of education that i was given


it is okay

when she says he is not good enough for me because i know nothing in the world would be good enough anyway for their little precious girl


but it is not okay

i try and try and i feel i am the only one struggling but i am still getting no where. i feel the world is so unfair. people born with golden spoon will still be spoonfed and people who are poor continues to be poor


but it is not okay

to put the burden on me and i feel like i am in no position to decline. why am i born to be so understanding and try to put everything on my shoulders when they are too small to carry


but it is not okay

i am trying to go for love yet let money be an obstacle to my happiness. that i have to choose sides - one which i choose will go against my values and the other if i choose, will go against my heart?