emo post

I think I should name my blog "the emo blog" because I only blog when I am emo. It think it's alright because no one reads it anyway. lol. Which is good because less blog haters will kacau it then! Sighs. Had a really bad day at work yesterday and woke up early today (sunday!) because i ter-thought of the incident. I hate it when you are just trying to do your job properly and people reads it differently. I emo not because of fucking customers but I think I did not defend my staff and myself very well during the incident and hence, the abuse. I think it was not necessary for her to scream at us and then ring us up again to continue telling us we were wrong. I think I should have done so much more to protect my staff but I didn't. Sometimes my patience can be such a bad thing for my work. I can't not have it yet I can't have too much of it either.

It's just things like this that makes me come face to face with weakness. I have a lot of pride. I hate losing. I hate to be the one who doesn't know anything. I run from problems and avoid them. And these things make me hate the person that I am. It makes me think that being nice is a weakness. I admire people who can stand up for themselves because it is something I never learnt to do even after so long. and I feel very disappointed and this time it's not only about me but about the people i work with.

*argh* life sucks! maybe i should just go for standing up for yourself at work 101. :(

I don't want to grow up!

I think I started on a post last week but didn't finish it because the bf got home! I don't want him to know about my blog. LOL. Mainly because he thinks it's very wussy and emo-ey if there is such word. Life seems to plateau out. It's flat, nothing too exciting happening. So many decisions I have been delaying to make. I am just lazy you know!

It's been my 4th year here in Adelaide. I love this place but it would have been better if my parents are here with me. It would be great to come back for a delicious meal nicely made on the dining table. It would be great to be surrounded by REALLY old people and then balanced out by hanging out with the angry teenager! I am scared of getting married because I don't want to grow up. I don't want to have to stay at my in laws house and never ever stay with my parents again. Most of my good friends in Adelaide are either getting married or got married. They think I feel the pressure but I don't. Seriously I don't. Well unless the person is very rich and I don't need to work.

I really want to get my own house, I mean I can already but I have very expensive taste so I don't want to settle for something I can afford but don't like. I am very greedy. But I get stress when my budget doesn't match my favourite. So I have decided not to think about it first.

Aargh. This is a boring post. LOL. ciao~