anal

Nope, if you're wondering what i'm talking about, i definitely do not mean gay here. Let's not go there. Anyway I am anal. I am very anal about certain things. I think I am a very weird person, and one who is very random too. I am a perfectionist. Everything I do or attempt to, I have to make sure I am the best or at least be good at it. In other words, you can probably say i am very kiasu. BUT i do not show my kiasu-ness yet people who know me would know.

There was once when i asked two friends for dinner and one of them asked me if my food was edible. Another friend replied that if i were to invite them for dinner, it would definitely be nice, because i only show people the better part of me. So I am very anal when it comes to cooking for people. I am also very anal when i drive. I don't like driving people because my parkin skills are literally non existent. That's why I took 4 years to actually start driving and that is also because i have to switch two buses before i can reach my workplace.

I am also very anal when it comes to dressing. I only stick to clothes that would look right on me. SO I am not very experimental and my clothes look the same! The style is dead. I had a friend told me, I like leggings and they make me look very thin, like bird's leg or something. I guess I do have a very competitive nature because I have to be the best or at least not the worst. I will not experiment with stuffs that I am not confident with. Maybe that's why i tend to have more good guy friends that girl friends. This competitive nature of mine is very tiring, it's good to hang out with guys because you don't need to think of what to wear or what to say.

and maybe that's why confidence is so important. If you feel confident of yourself, it doesn't matter what you wear or what you do, you know you are worthy and great. And until i gain confidence in myself, I will have to continue with this competitive nature of mine, or shall i say kiasuness.