My Addiction

I think i need help! I have a serious form of psychological disorder that no anti-depressants/ anti-psychotics would help!

I am addicted to.. SPending! Using money! The more I spend, the happier I feel and the less stressful I become. I need to keep spending in order to sustain the 'level of good mood' and when I don't spend, it feels as if something is missing. I would even feel the urge to spend even if there are not shops open at night, here in Adelaide. and guess what do I turn to? Online spending. Omg. This is really bad!

Just paid off my credit card bills that I racked up almost to its limit. Can you imagine I spent all of my wages (minus rent and bills etc) on stuffs that I don't even need? I need help man! Urgent and desperate help. I need to channel my vicious spending energy into something more productive, perhaps studying would be good! Maybe doing a short course! AHA perfect or exercise, like Yoga. or just put all my money in an investment! or or or....

argh. it's all just in the mind. I must learn to control it!

Looking back

Out of the blue, I decided to go back to my old blog and have a read about how I managed to get thru my puberty life. A lot of ups and downs and twists and turns but somehow it always turn out alright. I mean of course it turned out fine, because here I am standing, i mean sitting and blogging! Can't say my writing changed much, i still like putting commas everywhere and anywhere I like. Not much of the thinking changes too because when one is born, somehow u are just born with your personality.

But it was more about priorities - then, and now. I've been working almost one and half year now - got thru the period of studying frantically for exams, burning midnight oil, playing mahjong til the light of dawn etc. It just all seems so vague to me now because work fills my life, my bf and my aims in my life. I feel less carefree.

I have nothing to regret because I know I have achieved so much more. I am driving a car that I've set eyes on since forever, I am good at what I do and I am rewarded, I am living a life of a princess, I have the unconditional love of my family, I am going towards the direction that I've always hoped I would lead to. I am vain but I am proud of myself!

Really. Really. I do love my life. But perhaps, life is not just about settling down but towards more aims, more things in life. I'm not talking about greed, but an aim, an aim of life. If u ask me what do I see myself in three years time, I wish to have a house, a 100,000 salary career and to help my parents live better and let them have the freedom to do anything they want without having to worry about money. In five years, I see myself less of a career woman but settling down towards marriage and making my own family.

These are all visions. What i am living now was a vision i had five years back. I hope it just keeps getting better. And same goes to all my friends!