When we were in uni, the 'matured working' people would always tell us that uni life is the best days of your life. Back then I was in uni, and I thought the constant pressure of achievement kept me from enjoying life to its fullest. I hate exam days when nights are days and days are nights but of course, they were days of partying, of holidaying and not worry about exams, mahjoing til the wee hours of the morning that i wish i now have the energy to do!
But true enough, as they the 'wise' people had warned that working life is like a no return. Once you stepped into it, it's like your feet being stuck to mud. Of course I enjoy the financial independence that I once yearned so much (because i save a lot during uni days so my parents didn't need to spend so much on me!) and I have a great job with a good income that allows me to indulge in anything I want. BUT it is these indulgences that kill me.
It feels like i can't get out of it already. I have to keep working until I die. And i will be getting a house next year, i would die even faster. Anyway the reason I am whining is not because of the course of life I am going through now but I just had a bad day at work yesterday and it really demotivated me a lot. Sorry I am weak but this is who I am.
Being pharmacist in charge, I am liable for what staffs do, well this of course includes their stupidity, their not-listening-properly-and-then-puts-the-blame-on-you problem which I find it very hard to swallow. Honestly why should i be blame if you made a mistake? why should i be liable when if i were you, i wouldn't have done it in the first place?!
BUT this what a boss is supposed to do. It's like a waitress being complained by a customer, the manager has to step up and apologize. ANd honestly I am no boss material because I believe your actions are your own consequences. I can't convince myself to buy into shares for this pharmacy because i really don't think I know how to manage people.
ARgh. so here I am stucked! I need to be boss to feed my indulgences yet I know I won't be satisfied by a meager income if i am not boss? I am just like a big lost greedy monster. I guess I can't have both then?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My Addiction
I think i need help! I have a serious form of psychological disorder that no anti-depressants/ anti-psychotics would help!
I am addicted to.. SPending! Using money! The more I spend, the happier I feel and the less stressful I become. I need to keep spending in order to sustain the 'level of good mood' and when I don't spend, it feels as if something is missing. I would even feel the urge to spend even if there are not shops open at night, here in Adelaide. and guess what do I turn to? Online spending. Omg. This is really bad!
Just paid off my credit card bills that I racked up almost to its limit. Can you imagine I spent all of my wages (minus rent and bills etc) on stuffs that I don't even need? I need help man! Urgent and desperate help. I need to channel my vicious spending energy into something more productive, perhaps studying would be good! Maybe doing a short course! AHA perfect or exercise, like Yoga. or just put all my money in an investment! or or or....
argh. it's all just in the mind. I must learn to control it!
I am addicted to.. SPending! Using money! The more I spend, the happier I feel and the less stressful I become. I need to keep spending in order to sustain the 'level of good mood' and when I don't spend, it feels as if something is missing. I would even feel the urge to spend even if there are not shops open at night, here in Adelaide. and guess what do I turn to? Online spending. Omg. This is really bad!
Just paid off my credit card bills that I racked up almost to its limit. Can you imagine I spent all of my wages (minus rent and bills etc) on stuffs that I don't even need? I need help man! Urgent and desperate help. I need to channel my vicious spending energy into something more productive, perhaps studying would be good! Maybe doing a short course! AHA perfect or exercise, like Yoga. or just put all my money in an investment! or or or....
argh. it's all just in the mind. I must learn to control it!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Looking back
Out of the blue, I decided to go back to my old blog and have a read about how I managed to get thru my puberty life. A lot of ups and downs and twists and turns but somehow it always turn out alright. I mean of course it turned out fine, because here I am standing, i mean sitting and blogging! Can't say my writing changed much, i still like putting commas everywhere and anywhere I like. Not much of the thinking changes too because when one is born, somehow u are just born with your personality.
But it was more about priorities - then, and now. I've been working almost one and half year now - got thru the period of studying frantically for exams, burning midnight oil, playing mahjong til the light of dawn etc. It just all seems so vague to me now because work fills my life, my bf and my aims in my life. I feel less carefree.
I have nothing to regret because I know I have achieved so much more. I am driving a car that I've set eyes on since forever, I am good at what I do and I am rewarded, I am living a life of a princess, I have the unconditional love of my family, I am going towards the direction that I've always hoped I would lead to. I am vain but I am proud of myself!
Really. Really. I do love my life. But perhaps, life is not just about settling down but towards more aims, more things in life. I'm not talking about greed, but an aim, an aim of life. If u ask me what do I see myself in three years time, I wish to have a house, a 100,000 salary career and to help my parents live better and let them have the freedom to do anything they want without having to worry about money. In five years, I see myself less of a career woman but settling down towards marriage and making my own family.
These are all visions. What i am living now was a vision i had five years back. I hope it just keeps getting better. And same goes to all my friends!
But it was more about priorities - then, and now. I've been working almost one and half year now - got thru the period of studying frantically for exams, burning midnight oil, playing mahjong til the light of dawn etc. It just all seems so vague to me now because work fills my life, my bf and my aims in my life. I feel less carefree.
I have nothing to regret because I know I have achieved so much more. I am driving a car that I've set eyes on since forever, I am good at what I do and I am rewarded, I am living a life of a princess, I have the unconditional love of my family, I am going towards the direction that I've always hoped I would lead to. I am vain but I am proud of myself!
Really. Really. I do love my life. But perhaps, life is not just about settling down but towards more aims, more things in life. I'm not talking about greed, but an aim, an aim of life. If u ask me what do I see myself in three years time, I wish to have a house, a 100,000 salary career and to help my parents live better and let them have the freedom to do anything they want without having to worry about money. In five years, I see myself less of a career woman but settling down towards marriage and making my own family.
These are all visions. What i am living now was a vision i had five years back. I hope it just keeps getting better. And same goes to all my friends!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Success
Was just reading thru Qian's blog and it reminded me the 'twist of fate' I was going thru two years ago. It is very hard to make decisions when 1) you don't what's the right thing to choose or 2) it involves your future and 3)you wished you had both!
High school year, success is define as good grades. College years, success is when you get into the best uni and be the coolest kid in the block. Get out of uni, success is when you get good job offers. 20s is when you spend most of your time trying to make decisions that you think is right.
The definition of being successful varies in individuals and it varies at different point of a time. Sometimes it's family, sometimes it's money, sometimes it's fame, sometimes it's religion. But there is not one time when you can have everything.
And this is when balance comes in. I think it's good to be not extreme. To be rich but have family. Probably not filthy rich but just enough to make give you a comfortable life. To have career but not forget about friends too.
High school year, success is define as good grades. College years, success is when you get into the best uni and be the coolest kid in the block. Get out of uni, success is when you get good job offers. 20s is when you spend most of your time trying to make decisions that you think is right.
The definition of being successful varies in individuals and it varies at different point of a time. Sometimes it's family, sometimes it's money, sometimes it's fame, sometimes it's religion. But there is not one time when you can have everything.
And this is when balance comes in. I think it's good to be not extreme. To be rich but have family. Probably not filthy rich but just enough to make give you a comfortable life. To have career but not forget about friends too.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Decisions
Have you ever wondered....
why everyone make right decisions except you??
and even if you've made a decision that you swear to stick thru thick and thin,
does it mean that it is the RIGHT decision to make?
why everyone make right decisions except you??
and even if you've made a decision that you swear to stick thru thick and thin,
does it mean that it is the RIGHT decision to make?
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Malaysian Dream Girls
I've always loved watching reality shows, well not ALL but some interesting ones like survival, apprentice and AmericanNextTopModel. But I definitely hate shows like finding true love or perfect partner by competing with 100 thousand other girls who want it for money.
Anyway, I think Malaysia has their own fair share of reality shows. Being overseas, I am not blessed to watch them when I like. But Malaysian Dream girls, despite having lots and lots of Manglish - and i dont think ang mohs would understand, is one of the really good ones I continue to watch until the end of the season.
It is a very Malaysian show - racist, hypocrates, cat fighting etc makes me feel closer to home. LOL. sometimes I wonder how would I manage to get what they are trying to relay because as Asians, we were NOT taught to be expressive. What's more, not everybody has a good grasp of the english language. Malaysia mah.
Anyway, I watched Season one and Season two is now showing. The production people knows the right part to edit and cut and add it into the show to make it interesting. Season two has improved because more people could speak better english and 2) more cat fights - cuz there's one particular confronting angry cat in the show and 3) it has it's climax-es.
Well, you guys should watch it - with less expectations. It's short enough to fill time. HAHA
Anyway, I think Malaysia has their own fair share of reality shows. Being overseas, I am not blessed to watch them when I like. But Malaysian Dream girls, despite having lots and lots of Manglish - and i dont think ang mohs would understand, is one of the really good ones I continue to watch until the end of the season.
It is a very Malaysian show - racist, hypocrates, cat fighting etc makes me feel closer to home. LOL. sometimes I wonder how would I manage to get what they are trying to relay because as Asians, we were NOT taught to be expressive. What's more, not everybody has a good grasp of the english language. Malaysia mah.
Anyway, I watched Season one and Season two is now showing. The production people knows the right part to edit and cut and add it into the show to make it interesting. Season two has improved because more people could speak better english and 2) more cat fights - cuz there's one particular confronting angry cat in the show and 3) it has it's climax-es.
Well, you guys should watch it - with less expectations. It's short enough to fill time. HAHA
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Earth Hour
For some reason, Earth hour this year has been widely publicized is blogs around the world. Being environmental conscious is probably becoming the 'in' thing now. Maybe the effect of global warming is taking it's toll on us - tsunami, bush fires, wild snows, fancy name hurricanes. It's. very. scary. I don't feel much when I am in Malaysia but I feel different in Australia. You just know when it is different. Like last year when winter came late and Adelaide experienced the hottest 10 consecutive days, and I almost thought that the weather wouldn't return to normal. It was just like when I was in second year of uni when Malaysia had the worst case of haze. It was so misty and dark and smelly that I remembered telling my friend, "I think doomsday is coming!". Well, perhaps after lots of sci-fi movies later, the 'idea' of doomsday plants deep. I'm not a christian myself but I do believe that humans will one day wipe out themselves due to their insensitivity.
So, what did I do on earth hour? I switched off my lights because THE BF was sleeping and didn't want to wake up for dinner, yet I kept the TV on. HAHAHA. so fail! Anyway, I did manage to wake him up a few minutes later and guess what, we rushed out of the house without switching off the lights! But thank god we were just outside and we hurried in to switch everything off and then we went for dinner. So BASICALLY i didn't sin on Earth hour but let others did! HAHAHA. I planned to just chill outside with friends but the bf ruined it cuz he couldnt wake up for dinner. Hope to do better next year!
Anyway, eventhough we are no where near conserving energy or recycling enough, I think the idea itself of saving the earth is a good start! And i guess that is what Earth Hour is all about. To create awareness of how we're harming the earth. Maybe we're not doing enough but I think we'll get there eventually. Well.. hopefully....
So, what did I do on earth hour? I switched off my lights because THE BF was sleeping and didn't want to wake up for dinner, yet I kept the TV on. HAHAHA. so fail! Anyway, I did manage to wake him up a few minutes later and guess what, we rushed out of the house without switching off the lights! But thank god we were just outside and we hurried in to switch everything off and then we went for dinner. So BASICALLY i didn't sin on Earth hour but let others did! HAHAHA. I planned to just chill outside with friends but the bf ruined it cuz he couldnt wake up for dinner. Hope to do better next year!
Anyway, eventhough we are no where near conserving energy or recycling enough, I think the idea itself of saving the earth is a good start! And i guess that is what Earth Hour is all about. To create awareness of how we're harming the earth. Maybe we're not doing enough but I think we'll get there eventually. Well.. hopefully....
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